Tickle Me Pink You Fat Smurf Bastard

Hamilton Street...My only Hamilton Street - it's sweet oh Hamilton Street!

Aw fuck Hamilton Street and fuck Ed Pawlowski too. Now the Federal Grill is closing AND the Rite Aid is closing and damn if that Wendy's place with the sweet, triple cheeseburgers didn't close too. Darn. That pretty much leaves only the places propped up with public money and the last of the shops that serve the local demographic.

You are going to get your just dessert, thick and creamy just like Susan Gotschall would give it to ya! You little troll. There is a whole army of people who are waiting, like vultures, for you to complete your 4.5 foot fall to the ground. You'll be tugging at your little meat tube and crying and you'll get it alright, you'll get what is coming to you. You've been spit-shining the turd known as Hamilton Street so hard that you have worn through the chrome veneer right to the shit inside. Now it is oozing out thick and fast.

"The Turd Chute" aka Hamilton Street

http://blogs.mcall.com/allentown/2008/06/more-hamilton-s.html

Ed Pawlowski, you fucking little smurf, you. You suck. You and your stupid Hamilton Street. If you published the total amount in grants and tax breaks you've given to businesses on Hamilton Street, you'd be strung up by your neck. I thought the KOZ was supposed to be enough to spur development but you just keep piling it on. Why the businesses and homeowners in areas outside of your golden rectangle around Hamilton Street don't take action I'll never know. But I know this, you suck - you fat little smurf. What's the number Ed, huh? PPL, Butz, Brew Jerks, grants, breaks, on and on.

If you STILL have to give even more cash after all of the stupendous development, the previous programs have to be considered failures or at best partial failures. So what's the number Ed, maybe you've wasted $250,000,000?

Mayor posts on TMC's forum

Here are some of the Mayor's posts on TMC's forum regarding stealing of buildings:

"There is only one thing I like more than Wendy's Triple Cheeseburgers and that is stealing buildings for my friends! I LOVE that old building and never mind that redeveloping it with private funds is fiscal suicide, if I make this guy out to be a villian then I can grab it with my sweaty little hands and then I can stand on my couch and point my little sausage tube at the big poster and clap my chubby hands together! Can you believe the audacity? The irony? I'm so incensed! Gimme that building! I want your building - I want it I want it I want it."

"P-Cube and Mike "Little Seizer" Rosenfeld to the rescue! "C'mon Seizer, let's steal this building too!" "Yo P-Cube, furs we gotz ta staybleyes dis piece den we guna steals it yo!" "Nice one Little Seizer you're really getting the hang of gangsta speaking!" "Thanks P-Cube!" "Sure Seizer!" "Hey Seizer, how about we head over to Wendy's for a couple of Triples?""

The Mayor clarifies for a reader:

"Ed Pawlowski and Mike Rosenfeld are building stealers. Around them is the musky aroma of something free. Ed Pawlowski promotes an unhealthy atmosphere of denial about the true condition of the City of Hamilton Street (aka Allentown)- therefore he prefers to be known by his street name "P-Cube" (Power Point Pawlowski). His alter ego is a street wise gangster smurf who loves Wendy's - just like his true, chubby, meat tube pulling self. Mike Rosenfeld is just a dolt who carries out the dirty deeds that need to be done to steal the buildings - he seizes them after putting up some scaffolding and mowing some weeds - he goes by the street name "Little Seizer". Keep up Mike. "

Gotcha!

This according to The Morning Call:

"The owner of the Neuweiler Brewery building in Allentown was jailed last week until he paid years worth of outstanding fines for the poor condition of the Allentown historic landmark.

He was released from Lehigh County Prison on May 21 by District Judge Karen Devine after he paid about $13,000 in fines.

Moore said Kellner had requested the meeting at the brewery to discuss a complaint he had made about the condition of a neighboring property.

''What is the irony in that,'' Mayor Ed Pawlowski said. ''For him to come in and complain, the audacity of it is beyond my comprehension.''Pawlowski said the arrest shows how far the city is willing to go to make absentee landlords maintain their properties.'

"P-Cube and Little Seizer to the rescue again! The sweaty grasp tightens around yet another building. Grunting and sweating and groaning with delight, P-Cube leaks anticipatory fluid from the edges of his mouth, knowing that it is only a matter of time before this one is his! His faithful do-little henchman, Mike "Little Seizer" Rosenfeld is preparing to grab the prize for the fat blue meat tube puller.

Never mind the hundreds of millions in tax breaks and public funding for the boys on Hamilton Street - most likely zero of which have ever been extended to this outsider from New Jersey and never mind that the sucker bought the building in 2003- long after most of the degradation took place. Those are just past, perceived injustices.

Eventually P-Cube's portfolio will include all of these buildings, Americus and Hotel Traylor included, and they will be transferred to some company or authority at which the Mayor Smurf reigns.

Mayor Smurf has his little meat tube in a stranglehold while Little Seizer looks on! "C'mon P-Cube, strangle that 4.5" thing" "Oh yeah Little Seizer, get me that building, get me that building NOW!"

Did Napoleon steal the Mona Lisa?

Some guys steal beautiful works of art, some guys steal buildings. Mayor Smurf is a building stealer. That is what he does. The Americus is in his tiny, sweaty little grasp, like a 4.5" Polish sausage. Nevermind the injustice or rather the perceived injustice - today is all that matters. Pull on your little Polish sausage you fucking smurf. Blow on it and say three times: there's no place like a free building, there's no place like a free building, there's no place like this shithole Allentown for stealing buildings. Watch your little meat tube rise to its full glory.

You're a liar and a meat tube puller.

Allentown will NEVER improve

What a fucking rats' nest! This shithole will never ever improve - sure that fucking smurf douchebag Ed Pawlowski and his band of turds will continue to throw public money at the dump but it is just a matter of time until the next, inevitable wave of rot hits the shitpile.

Today, one of the loveliest people in the city is finally to break free of the dump and move westward. This person is a lifelong Allentown resident - one of the truly "creative class" that dorks like Ed Pawlowski can only dream of being. Today is the day when freedom is gained - BUT, not without the price to be extracted first (usually the Valley Vortex takes its revenge after one leaves, mostly in the form of being pulled back into it willingly or unwillingly).

This "up front" "revenge" most likely is due to the fact that this person is really good and really nice and genuine and downright too good to ever return to Allentown (maybe another nicer place in the region but not the shithole known as Allentown). So, after many months of planning and packing and stressing and worry, the last day dawns and what a bright day it will be! But...wait..."I'm just waking up...why is someone calling my name from the street below??!! It is my neighbor, calling my name - maybe he has come to wish me farewell!! Huh? What's that? All of them??!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!"

That's right, Allentown, on the last night inside your rotten guts, you've sent a glob of your homegrown demon seed to steal not one, two, or even three but ALL FOUR WHEELS AND TIRES from the car, leaving it on bricks. THE LAST FUCKING NIGHT INSIDE YOUR ROTTEN GUTS, HOPEFULLY THE LAST NIGHT EVER INSIDE YOUR DISEASED ANUS!

Oh, you know it already but let Jim Golds say it one more time: I HATE ALLENTOWN.

Just for good measure

Ed Pawlowski is a fucking douchebag.